Source @thailand_news
rd not to see: it takes a whole chain of knowledgeable Thai hands to build an illegal nominee company, and somehow only the one foreigner at the very end of it is wearing the handcuffs. Species thre
rd not to see: it takes a whole chain of knowledgeable Thai hands to build an illegal nominee company, and somehow only the one foreigner at the very end of it is wearing the handcuffs. Species three: The Doom-Crier (compact, deafening, caps lock welded down)
The Doom-Crier communicates exclusively in headline. “The Land of CORRUPTION.” “Thailand is a Mafia State.” “Literally pump and dump.” He is not interested in the finer points of nominee law, because to him every story is the same story, and the story is that the whole place is a racket and he, alone, can see it. There is a magnificent simplicity to the Doom-Crier. He is a man on a street corner with a placard, the placard says EVERYTHING IS A SCAM, and the genuinely annoying part is that every few weeks the news hands him a fresh reason to keep standing there. Species four: The Renter-Evangelist (rarer here, but eternal)
He has rented in Thailand for between ten and forty years, and he has watched friend after friend buy a villa he warned them not to buy. Now the letters are arriving and he has ascended to a higher plane. “Rent, rent, rent.” “Never buy or invest in Thailand. Never. The only thing you need to know.” His advice is genuinely, irritatingly sound. It is also a victory lap thirty years in the making, run at a slow jog so everyone can see, and honestly, he earned the lap. Let him jog. Species five: The Wife-Planner (one strategy, sublime confidence)
The Wife-Planner has solved Thai property law, and the solution is his wife. “Only safe way is to buy in your Thai wife’s name, and make sure she doesn’t divorce you.” “Just buy your house in your girlfriend’s name.
Follow me for more pro tips.” That last man is offering a follow button for further wisdom, and part of me wants to take it. There is a glorious, doomed optimism to this species, sharpened by the fact that the authorities are reportedly now eyeing exactly these arrangements, and by the commenter lurking one reply below who points out, with the calm of a man lighting a cigarette, that the next step is for them to “call your wife a nominee that you bought the house for.” The Wife-Planner does not see this reply. The Wife-Planner has logged off, secure in the belief that love conquers the Land Code. It does not. But you cannot fault his commitment to the bit. Species six: The Detective (small in number, sharp in instinct)
The Detective does not care whose fault it is. He wants to know where the body went. Specifically, the seized villas. “Who benefits when they auction off those prime properties built for them?” “What happens to the seized property, demolished, resold, taken over?” “Where does the transferred value go when the land is confiscated?”
He is asking the one question this entire saga has genuinely never answered, and he is asking it for free, in a Facebook comment, wedged between an advert for boat tours and a man who has typed only “5555.” We are not saying the Detective has cracked the case. We are saying nobody has shown up to tell him he hasn’t. Species seven: The Spelling Bee (n=1, and a hero)
A brief but vital sighting. While the thread argued about confiscation, fraud, and the collapse of trust between a nation and its guests, one man identified the true crisis. “Lose! The word is LOSE. Loose change, loose women, loose cattle.
The word you morons are struggling with is LOSE.” We include the Spelling Bee not because he advanced the property debate, but because somewhere in a comment section about people losing their homes, a man was losing his mind about the word “lose,” and that is the comment section in one specimen. We salute him. Grammatically, he died as he lived. Species eight: The Poet Laureate (rare, devastating, deserves a prize)
The rarest of the articulate species, responsible for the single most-celebrated line in the entire thread, a sentence so good we briefly considered making it the headline and going home. A man compared the country, to wide and reverent [...]
← Back to newsThe Doom-Crier communicates exclusively in headline. “The Land of CORRUPTION.” “Thailand is a Mafia State.” “Literally pump and dump.” He is not interested in the finer points of nominee law, because to him every story is the same story, and the story is that the whole place is a racket and he, alone, can see it. There is a magnificent simplicity to the Doom-Crier. He is a man on a street corner with a placard, the placard says EVERYTHING IS A SCAM, and the genuinely annoying part is that every few weeks the news hands him a fresh reason to keep standing there. Species four: The Renter-Evangelist (rarer here, but eternal)
He has rented in Thailand for between ten and forty years, and he has watched friend after friend buy a villa he warned them not to buy. Now the letters are arriving and he has ascended to a higher plane. “Rent, rent, rent.” “Never buy or invest in Thailand. Never. The only thing you need to know.” His advice is genuinely, irritatingly sound. It is also a victory lap thirty years in the making, run at a slow jog so everyone can see, and honestly, he earned the lap. Let him jog. Species five: The Wife-Planner (one strategy, sublime confidence)
The Wife-Planner has solved Thai property law, and the solution is his wife. “Only safe way is to buy in your Thai wife’s name, and make sure she doesn’t divorce you.” “Just buy your house in your girlfriend’s name.
Follow me for more pro tips.” That last man is offering a follow button for further wisdom, and part of me wants to take it. There is a glorious, doomed optimism to this species, sharpened by the fact that the authorities are reportedly now eyeing exactly these arrangements, and by the commenter lurking one reply below who points out, with the calm of a man lighting a cigarette, that the next step is for them to “call your wife a nominee that you bought the house for.” The Wife-Planner does not see this reply. The Wife-Planner has logged off, secure in the belief that love conquers the Land Code. It does not. But you cannot fault his commitment to the bit. Species six: The Detective (small in number, sharp in instinct)
The Detective does not care whose fault it is. He wants to know where the body went. Specifically, the seized villas. “Who benefits when they auction off those prime properties built for them?” “What happens to the seized property, demolished, resold, taken over?” “Where does the transferred value go when the land is confiscated?”
He is asking the one question this entire saga has genuinely never answered, and he is asking it for free, in a Facebook comment, wedged between an advert for boat tours and a man who has typed only “5555.” We are not saying the Detective has cracked the case. We are saying nobody has shown up to tell him he hasn’t. Species seven: The Spelling Bee (n=1, and a hero)
A brief but vital sighting. While the thread argued about confiscation, fraud, and the collapse of trust between a nation and its guests, one man identified the true crisis. “Lose! The word is LOSE. Loose change, loose women, loose cattle.
The word you morons are struggling with is LOSE.” We include the Spelling Bee not because he advanced the property debate, but because somewhere in a comment section about people losing their homes, a man was losing his mind about the word “lose,” and that is the comment section in one specimen. We salute him. Grammatically, he died as he lived. Species eight: The Poet Laureate (rare, devastating, deserves a prize)
The rarest of the articulate species, responsible for the single most-celebrated line in the entire thread, a sentence so good we briefly considered making it the headline and going home. A man compared the country, to wide and reverent [...]